Hola

Hola from Central America!

I'm writing from Panama City on a very confusing keyboard. I apologize now for any and all spelling errors.

I've been in Panama for four days now and I have to admit, I'm a little bit in love. It plays on both my love of nature and my love of big cities. Oh, and its thisclose to Colombia. The problem? I'm a tourist. I'm alwys a tourist. But Bitty, you say, you know that you are a tourist right? And yes, yes I know that. My problem is that I look like a bandana and backpack clad gleaming white tourist. Add a fanny pack and a smear of zinc oxide to my nose and I will be my own worst nightmare. I wish there was a way to seamlessly glide through foreign cities without anyone noticing (for better or for worse). I feel like such a spectacle walking through the streets. It's difficult to passively observe people when they are all waving to you. (Don't get me wrong though Panama, I love how friendly you are). The othe advantage of invisibility is that it would open up whole regions of the world that I wouldn't otherwise have a chance to see, which naturally are always the most tempting. ("The Darien province is absolutely beautiful and pristine, but you must never, ever go there") In any case, I am loving it here in my big old conspicious Canadian way.

A Carnivores Dream

"What type of sandwiches do you have?"

"We have an assorted sub, chicken, as well as turkey bacon and ham."

"Okay, I'll have that one."

"Which one?"

"The one you said"

"I told you about our three different sandwiches"

"Oh, that wasn't all the same sub?"

"Uh, no, no it wasn't"

Mmmmm, can you imagine what that sandwich would taste like? I'm going to open up a fast food chain that sells nothing but sub sandwiches with chicken, turkey, bacon, ham and assorted meats on it.

"If it had a mother and a pulse, you'll find it on our buns"

Dehydration Nation

Holy hiatus Batman!

My life has been a whirlwind of flying, safety demonstrations, waking up at ungodly hours, packing, unpacking, repacking and thinking about packing. Although I can't remember where my house is or what non-polyester flame retardant pants feel like and I no longer know what city I'm in or where I'm going to end up at night, I am getting a lot of hours in at work.

That my friends, is my (lame) excuse for the lack of posts. More posts will follow but for now, here is another heartwarming story of thinly veiled racism in the workplace.

Sue and I were doing drink service in the cabin. She was pouring the drinks and I was handing them to the guest (my job is very difficult you see. It often requires the efforts of two individuals highly trained in the art of ice scooping and Diet Pepsi defrothing) I noticed that every so often, Sue would only fill the glasses half full. After she did it for a third time I asked her why she wasn't filling them up all the way.

"Because the Asians won't drink a full glass"

"They won't drink a full glass of apple juice?"

"No. So I only fill them up half way"

"Um, well I find that a little presumptuous, would you mind just filling up ALL the glasses up ALL the way?"

First, "The Asians" I just can't get enough of that gem. Secondly, What?? What is the deal with these closeted sino-phobes masquerading as flight attendants? Although on second thought, who am I to judge when she clearly has such a sound argument?