Bumming Around

Bum Poking... Sure, I understand it, but I don't like it.

One thing I noticed within the first few days at my job was the number of times my bum was touched in a day. Flight attendanting (oh that's a word by the way) is by nature not a job for anyone overly concerned with personal space (such as myself until I lowered my standards). For the most part I'm okay with bum touching, however what I am not okay with is bum poking.

Now, I need to qualify what the difference is between bum touching and bum poking.

Bum touching is an inevitable part of the job. During boarding, service, turbulence, securing etc. your bum brushes up against people or people brush up against your bum. It happens. You move on.

Bum poking is something entirely different. Bum poking is a technique used by people sitting in aisle seats who wish to get your attention but feel that using their vocal cords is not effective enough. So, they poke you in the bum. Hard. Right in the cheek. Surprise, surprise, it has the desired effect and the flight attendant turns around.

The bum poke occurs in different ways and for different reasons. It might happen as you walk through the cabin utilizing the Fast Jabby Poke. It might happen as you are doing service utilizing the Soft but Repeated Poke. Alternatively, it might happen as you are helping another guest utilizing the Reach and Poke. Whichever poke it may be, all are highly uncomfortable for the pokee (ie: me).

I suppose I can understand why people engage in the bum poke, I mean the call button is aaaalll the way up on the console, whereas my bum is right at eye level. If I sit back and watch I can almost see the chain of events.

"Hmm my drink is empty...Hey! There is a bum, that bum brought me a drink the first time...Poke...

As logical and convenient as it may be I will continue to hold my position as Advocate for Bum Rights. I can justify having bruises on my thighs from elbows, but I will never be okay with bruises on my bum from fingers.

Rough Skies

A few weeks ago there was a story in the media about a Canadian airline that experienced moderate turbulence. The plane dropped several hundred feet (or according to the guy on the news, thousands and thousands of feet) and nine people were hurt. When I first heard about it I was wee bit shaken up, then worried about the passengers and crew and then angry. I was angry because I spend a good portion of everyday at work making announcements about the seatbelt sign, checking to see that everyone is where their seatbelt, explaining to people why it's important that they do wear it and so on. Almost without exception someone gives me a hard time about wearing their seatbelt or about having to put their child in a seatbelt.

When the plane experienced the unforeseen turbulence, passengers were upset that we gave them no warning whatsoever and seemed to feel that it was the airlines fault for the turbulence in the first place. Week after week I fight with people to wear their seatbelts for this very reason and then it happens and they are angry because felt they had no warning. This made me wonder if maybe most people don't know about clear air turbulence, or if they do, they don't understand the frequency in which aircraft's experience it. I figured I would ask the only pool of sane people I know, you guys...

So, here are my questions;

When you are out there traveling the skies do you wear your seatbelts even if the sign is off? Do feel like turbulence is a real threat? Do you think that there is enough information out there (ie: are they announcements enough?)

Prof Thoughts

My apologies for the recent disappearance. I tell you, those lines at the University bookstore get longer every year...

I'm back from Panama, back at school, back at work and somehow managed to pick up another job somewhere along the way. Over the last couple weeks I have formulated a couple of rants in my head, but I've decided to ease everyone (both of you) back in with a few examples of the delightfully hilarious things my History of Political Thought prof has said in class.

"I encourage all of you to email me this semester. I really do enjoy getting emails from students. To be honest it's a nice change from the hundreds of emails I get everyday telling me that I need to increase my manhood. You know what a really frightening thought is? Maybe I'm the only one getting these emails. Maybe it isn't spam but the product of highly advanced corporate surveillance..."

"I will do my best to learn all of your names, but my rampant senility makes it more difficult every year."

"I've never been more proud to be a sessional instructor at the 13th best University in Canada."

"This next story will probably give you some idea as to why I am no longer invited to dinner parties, or anywhere else for that matter. I was at a friends dinner party when one particularly successful young woman was talking about the power of positive thinking. She said that she put a picture of the BMW that she wanted on her fridge. Everyday she would see the picture and focus her thoughts entirely on acquiring the car. This is where I piped up, "Have you ever thought about putting up a picture of an Israeli and a Palestinian shaking hands instead?"

And that is why I love my prof.