Narcoleptics may be on to something...

As written semi-coherently on various scraps of hotel paper...

1:03 Am

Why, why, why can't I fall asleep... I'm confident that i'm the only person on the east coast who is still awake.

I've tried every sleep inducing technique I can think of in the hopes of catching just a few hours of shut-eye. This includes long division, and I hate long division.

If I fall asleep right now, I will only get 3 and a half hours of sleep.

Not good.

After lying here for almost 4 hours, my mind has wandered a bit. Here is some thoughts I have had...

TV
-King of Queens is not funny
-For a 24 hour news channel, CNN has very little actual news.
-Children shows are getting increasingly creepy.
-Everybody Loves Raymond is on at least 4 channels at any given time and I think it should stop.

Terrorism
-I'm willing to bet that nudist colonies have pretty low rates of suicide bombings, Perhaps it's something worth looking into.
-I have not yet, but very much would like to see a Chicken Soup for the Jihadists Soul. Come on Jack Canfield, get with the times.
-Instead of investing all our time and money into policing to prevent terrorist attacks, why not use some of our resources to get to the root of the problem (ie: poverty, isolation) Regardless of how good our security systems are, its only a matter of time before something slips past us.

Animals
-Why all the secrecy between species? Why aren't we able to communicate with any species outside of our own? What do they have to hide?
-There should be a law against people walking cats. Its stupid and no one is enjoying themselves.
-Someone should club Paul McCartney with a baby seal. For a guy who hails from a country that pretty much invented hunting for pleasure, maybe you should be a little less self-righteous.
-Someone should club Ted Nugent with Paul McCartney
-What is the point of a donkey?
-Rhino's are pretty rediculous animals, if I had a giant horn on my head you can bet that I'd be hellbent on using it to poke people into submission

2:00am

Well, I have to get up pretty soon. I'm now at the point where I am hoping someone will crack me on the head with a frying pan just so I can get a few blissful moments of unconciousness. Since that seems to be unlikely, I'm going to get back to listening intently to the strange noises coming from my mini-fridge. Tomorrow is going to be a long day...

Wish me luck.