The Great Child-Repelling Wonder

Kids don't like me.

Now, i'm not sure if they don't like me because i'm boring and ask them questions like "do you have a rewards card little boy?". Or if its a sub-atomic particle type of dislike, where I emit a child-repelling pheromone of some type.

Whatever the case may be children, as a people, dislike me. A conversation between a six year old and myself is usually something akin to the scene in Wedding Crashers with Vince Vaughn and the little boy. "Make me a bicycle clown!"

This conspiracy goes right to the top too. Even babies don't like me. I've been known to make them cry simply by walking by. Further investigation into this phenomenon will likely prove that even fetus's (Plural: Fetusi?) would squirt amniotic fluids in my eyes and calf-rope me with the umbilical if they had half a chance.

It's probably best for all involved if you don't ask me to hold your infant...I'm talking to you, mother of three in 18A.