Peanuts

"Pretzels or Cookies?"

"Peanuts."

"Uh, I have pretzels and I have cookies..."

"PEANUTS."

Now, at this point I was thinking...

"Sir, the problem isn't that I can't hear you. You're speaking plenty loud enough. The problem is that I don't actually have peanuts. I have cookies and I have pretzels, you can even have both if you promise to fall asleep immediately. I'm also not withholding my secret stash of delicious salty peanuts, which I will shortly consume in the back with the other flight attendants, I simply don't have any to give you."

What I said was...

"Here are your pretzels sir!"

Big, toothy airline smile.

"Enjoy..."