Come on, the word Hurri is right in there

I have a theory that about hurricanes.

People aren't evacuating fast enough when a hurricane is heading their way. Then they get caught in a terrible natural disaster and end up on CNN crying over how their mailbox blew away and got lodged in a palm tree.

I don’t blame people for not running in terror upon hearing of the impending destruction of hurricane Stan. To me, Stan sounds like a slightly overweight, balding accountant who enjoys taffy and cleaning his fish tank.

If I were told that Stan was blowing into town I would probably lazily pack my things, perhaps labeling the boxes to make for easy unpacking. I would check my email, have a snack, fill up the car with gas and make my way inland.

This is the problem. You just can’t take Stan seriously.

Now, if people at the Hurricane Headquarters would start picking more terrifying names things might change.

Say your average Floridian turns on the news and sees that big, swirly, purple mass heading towards their house. They turn the volume up and listen as the weatherman says that Hurricane JaggedShardsofGlass or Hurricane WhipsVolkswagonsInToHotels is headed their way. Well I bet that they would drop their glass of orange juice, grab their cat, jump in their car and speed off before the next commercial.

For the safety of the nation, I think all weathermen should be required to take a course in fear mongering and should be trained to lower their voice a few octaves when pointing out the predicted path of destruction of Hurricane BlowsTheShinglesOffYourRoofAndInToYourNeighboursCranium.