Advice for the first day

Rules for surviving the first day of class:

The most important decision you have to make in any class is where you sit. That will determine whom you become friends with and whose notes you borrow.

1. Never sit next to the guy with the mustache in the plaid jacket. He also may be wearing a beret. He will probably ask annoying questions (loudly) that will not pertain to what the prof is actually talking about. This will attract negative attention to you.

2. Do not sit next to the guy who is leaning waaay back on his chair with his eyes half-closed. He will not have brought any supplies to class whatsoever. He will not have notes for you to borrow.

3. You will want to look for the girl sitting in the first couple of rows. She will be the one with her notebook opened to a fresh page, date written across the top. She will have two or three pencils (in case of lead breakage) out, perhaps even have one poised over her paper, ready to learn. Sit next to her, she'll probably even highlight all the important parts when she copies out her notes for you. (If you are in nursing, this girl is Katie)

4. Be courteous. Don't sit in the left-handed seats unless you are actually left-handed. We learned how to use your right-handed scissors, now let us have our seats.

5. Avoid the person with the runny nose at all costs. They will more than likely be in a perpetual state of sickness for the whole semester and you won't want to have to sit in their cloud of disease everyday amid a growing pile of snotty kleenexes.

6. If you spot someone with nice clothes and the expensive kind of notebooks listening to their video ipod, it might be a good idea to sit next to them. You may be able to score some good loot if they ever need your notes (the best I done is a gift certificate for Starbucks for 3 days worth of Latin American notes.)

Here are some helpful hints for dealing with Profs

1. If you are in Political Science be prepared for long delays in class due to the profs inability to turn the lights off (or on), get the projectors focused, move the white screen down (or up) and so on. Without exception they seem to be technology-impaired. Get used to chalk and handouts.

2. If your professor is a woman move closer to the front. They generally talk very, very quietly and have microscopic writing. The closer you are to the front the less you will wish you had binoculars and a hearing aid.

3. If within the first few minutes of class on the first day your prof uses this phrase drop the class immediately

"In this class you are all pregnant, and I am the midwife, helping you to bring your newborn ideas into the world"

This is not okay and not a good sign.

4. If you find that your professor of Middle Eastern politics is a huge racist, stick around. It will make for some entertaining class discussions.

5. Don't try to stick it out if your professor has a very thick accent. It will not get easier to understand unless you are also studying Mandarin or whatever the case may be.

Well I hope that these simple suggestions help you survive the first day of school and go on to become successful students.