Missing Persons

Bermuda Triangle, Lost Socks, North Korea...Airports...

I have noticed a strange phenomenon occurring in airports across Canada, something that frightens me to the very core. Missing persons.

Before working as a flight attendant I assumed that missing a flight would be a very rare event. I figured that the only way someone would miss their flight would be if on the drive to the airport, their car spontaneously imploded. Implosion or no implosion, the person would still be determined not to miss their flight. So they would start running towards the airport, luggage rolling furiously behind them. They would be running so fast that they surely wouldn't have noticed the open manhole. After falling into the sewer system, they would navigate through the sludge towards the airport, only to run into a group of underground mole people. After being taken captive by the mole people and forced to a lifetime of underground slavery, this person would forever lament missing that oh-so-important flight.

As it turns out, this is not the case.

A disturbing number of people miss their flight everyday. Now for the strange part, these people...these missing persons, all of them check-in. This means that they made it to the airport, past all open manholes and imploding cars, but for some reason didn't make it to the plane.

The distance between the check-in counters and the boarding lounge isn't all that far, and I have never seen anything remotely dangerous (such as polar bears, tar pits or K-fed) that could account for their disappearance.

So where do they go? I have a few theories.

1. Wormholes: Jodie Foster found one, so who's to say that Bob Howard in Halifax didn't find one too? They are invisible (I assume) and unexpected. Mr. Howard could easily have been sucked into a deadly wormhole. I will follow up with Stephen Hawking on this theory.

2. Bathrooms: Have you ever flushed an airport toilet before? The amount of force with which those toilet flush is unnerving. I often wonder what would happen if someone stood too close to with while they flushed...

3. Aliens: Admittedly, this is the most farfetched theory, but hear me out. Aliens are looking to abduct people, but remain inconspicuous right? So if you were going to abduct someone, it would make sense to abduct someone who is traveling. No one will miss them for hours and hours. Also, docking at an airport would be handy for the aliens to refuel their spaceships, maybe grab some magazines for the flight back. Doesn’t sound so farfetched now does it?

Whatever the case may be, I will continue to investigate into this matter until I come up with some hard evidence that will once and for all end the mystery of “The Disappeared” (Insert X-Files music here)