Thievery 2.0

So we meet again Car Thief,

As you may have noticed we stole Kate's car back from you. Hope you weren't left stranded somewhere, that would have been so inconsiderate of us.

I have to say, I am a little confused about the things you did to her car.

For example, why steal one hubcap and not all four? (Did you know that they cost less than $30?) Why did you take her glasses out of the case and step on them? That seems a little cruel, even for you Car Thief. Also, ripping the whole glove box out was a nice touch. Although you could have just opened it up, with the same result. I think you should see someone about your aggression. It isn't healthy.

I didn't even know that you could start a car with a screw driver. The ingenuity of the criminal mind is remarkable. Have you thought about publishing a How-To book? I think there is definite potential there.

Oh, you left your groceries behind. A cucumber, a lime and shampoo eh? I suppose even crackheads need their daily intake of vitamin C and shiny hair.

By the way, she loves the way her car smells now...nothing quite like the smell of crack pipes in the morning.

Well I suppose we are even now Car Thief, you stole Kate's car and we kept your lime.

I hope you learned your lesson.

Sincerely,

Bitty

PS. I noticed that you didn't steal anything from the car except MY BLANKET. Now that's just hateful. Maybe we could arrange an exchange. I'll meet you under a bridge with $35 in unmarked bills. You bring my blanket. I promise not to pelt you with water balloons.