Boo...

Boo...and not in the traditional "scared you!" kind of way. Boo to the myriad of awful costumes I saw at school this year.

I've compiled a list of suggestions for Halloween costumes that I think might help...

1. Unless Hugh Hefner signs your paycheck, please refrain dressing as a playboy bunny. I have a feeling the you will not be gracing the cover of his magazine anytime soon.

2. I think we can all agree that we've pushed the pirate trend as far as it should go. There are plenty other violent characters from the past aside from pirates. May I suggest a Viking...or a mongol.

3. I have seen far, far too many slutty cops, nurses and firefighters. For a costume that is a little more creative, why don't you dress up as a slutty mailman, or pet groomer, or janitor? I think you can see where I am going with this.

4. While on the topic of sluttyness in general, Halloween is not supposed to be an excuse for you to be scantily clad all day. If you are dressed as Adam or Eve, then by all means, the nudity is a necessity. This does not apply however, to cats. There is no need for you to expose yourself when dressed as a cat. Let the frostbite be your punishment.

5. To the guy at school who was dressed as Puss in Boots; you are my hero.